Sunday, January 11, 2009

steps backward...ugh

I have a lot of food issues these past weekends. Take this weekend for example, grits, whole wheat pancakes and a sweet dough pie ( South louisiana version of a tart...kinda)
I consumed these over the weekend. Carbs.
I am having eating issues with getting enough protien I think. I am what they call a pescetarian. Not a vegetarian, they do not recognize this label as a vegetarian. I just eat seafood, no beef, pork or chicken.
I think if I got more protein I would not crave the sweets so much. What to do???? I feel horrible that I made the weak minded choices. I passed the old fashioned counter with the cakes and pies and I smelled the coffee. I ate. Now I feel guilty. I know about getting on the wagon again but HOW MANY times will I keep falling off. Where is my resolve?
I swear I thought, well it's a special time being with my Sister and I'm getting older and I should enjoy the times we have ... whine whine whine. I ate the pie outside with the cold rain blowing on us under a awning, miserable. I did not even enjoy the setting. Dammit I ate .
When I am at the gym I am all business. Sweating and working my tail off but the least bit of a suggestion to eat off my plan and I am gone.
Obvioulsy I am not commited as I should be..I can talk the game but I am falling far short of what I should be doing at this point. I need that big light bulb moment, the mirror is not doing it.
So I apologize for my weakness to not only to my family but to myself.
Maybe it is laziness? If not what is it? Why am I constantly falling a few steps short to total commitment?
Don't pat my hand and tell me It's OK. It is not. I need a kick in the rear.
I feel depressed and mad at myself.


Aaron said...

So, since you want a "kick in the rear" I will share with you one of my Aaron-isms...anyone who has worked for me has heard this too many times I am sure...

Some people give up, some people step up.

You can't change history, but you can decide what you do now. I know you have the will power and I know you will get past this...just don't give up, you can do anything but that...

Get up and work it off.

Susie said...

You can do it Memmey! Don't be a QUITTER! Some helpful tips I hope...I'm a vegetarian and I love to eat Boca burgers, Boca hot dogs, you can also get Boca meatless Ground Crumbles. They look like ground beef and you can use it in chili, sloppy joes, lasagna, empanadas, spaghetti, lots of stuff. Look online for vegetarian recipes...things that won't leave you feeling so hungry and deprived.

You. CAN. Do. This!

Now get off the computer and go work out!



mem said...

Awwwh Suz...
All right then, I'm not whining anymore. I love Boca crumbles.

Aaron, Susie is my good friend from the cottage site. She won't let me backslide either.LOL

Hey I can't eat a cow but I can sure murder the poor ole shwimps. Remember Bubba, shwimp stew, shwimp gumbo,grilled shwimp, boiled shwimp..........LOL
I do love shrimp though.