I have a lot of food issues these past weekends. Take this weekend for example, grits, whole wheat pancakes and a sweet dough pie ( South louisiana version of a tart...kinda)
I consumed these over the weekend. Carbs.
I am having eating issues with getting enough protien I think. I am what they call a pescetarian. Not a vegetarian, they do not recognize this label as a vegetarian. I just eat seafood, no beef, pork or chicken.
I think if I got more protein I would not crave the sweets so much. What to do???? I feel horrible that I made the weak minded choices. I passed the old fashioned counter with the cakes and pies and I smelled the coffee. I ate. Now I feel guilty. I know about getting on the wagon again but HOW MANY times will I keep falling off. Where is my resolve?
I swear I thought, well it's a special time being with my Sister and I'm getting older and I should enjoy the times we have ... whine whine whine. I ate the pie outside with the cold rain blowing on us under a awning, miserable. I did not even enjoy the setting. Dammit I ate .
When I am at the gym I am all business. Sweating and working my tail off but the least bit of a suggestion to eat off my plan and I am gone.
Obvioulsy I am not commited as I should be..I can talk the game but I am falling far short of what I should be doing at this point. I need that big light bulb moment, the mirror is not doing it.
So I apologize for my weakness to not only to my family but to myself.
Maybe it is laziness? If not what is it? Why am I constantly falling a few steps short to total commitment?
Don't pat my hand and tell me It's OK. It is not. I need a kick in the rear.
I feel depressed and mad at myself.